Tag Archives: Life

Graduation!!!

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It’s been about 6 years since my first acupuncture treatment, which in the scheme of things, isn’t actually all that long. I got acupuncture at first for Bell’s Palsy, paralysis of the half of my face, a purely aesthetic issue, but we all like to put our best face forward and so it felt important. Acupuncture changed my life – it actually brought me closer to myself, it helped me strengthen my connection to who I am and my life’s purpose and, well, landed me here today. Ironically, I never resolved the original symptoms and I stand here today with a somewhat asymmetrical smile.

Every one of us has a story about how we arrived here. Some of us came to Chinese Medicine through martial arts, I know that many of us were disappointed in some way or another by Western medicine, maybe we saw our sister get pregnant and have a child with the help of acupuncture, or a parent get relief from back pain, or a sibling recover from a car accident – we all recognized that this is some special medicine, and we all knew that we wanted to help others, to play a supportive role in people’s journey back to health.

And some of chose SWAC because we were already living in Boulder, or because we toured across  the country looking at all the schools and liked it the most, or because we knew someone who went here. I transferred from New York when the city became to much, we’ve got transfers from Florida, and Denver, and Albuquerque and Hawaii . I remember walking in on the first day of class, and thinking to myself, “Oh, everybody already knows each other, I’m the awkward new kid” (I’m still awkard I’m just not new anymore) but then Koji came over and welcomed me in, and slowly but surely the collection of awesome people that make up our class befriended and welcomed me, just as the would any other person, because that’s who we are, and that’s how we roll.

And I sat through my first class with Michael Young, blown away by his insights on dysbiosis and leaky gut, and so my education continued. Tristan would diligently go over each any every acupuncture point, and give us meticulous tests (which I was grateful for when it was time to talk the board exams), and Jia Yu would pound into our brains “don’t treat the symptom! Treat the etiology!” And we poked each other in class and we poked patients in the clinic, and most people got better, but some didn’t, and we learned a LOT. I mean come, on, over 350 points, and over 30 herbs a few hundred herbal formulas,  pattern differentiation, 3600 hours of study… lets give ourselves a little round of applause here.

And now, we move on to the unknown.

First, we must take a pause. To rest, to recollect, to replenish and reflect.

And then no do doubt, we will stand up tall, connect to our will power, acknowledge our fears, recognize the wisdom we’ve gained, and move forward. With guile and gall we’ll muster the courage to start a practice, to treat our first patient with a supervisor, and then the second, and the third. And it’s gonna feel awesome!

And there’s a couple of things I hope we can all remember as we head out on our own.

This Medicine is Incredible! It’s so powerful and so diverse in application, and we happen to be in the midst of a changing of conscious which is going to create endless possibilities. We live in a time when our medicine can be Magic AND Science, not either or. Our medicine can speak so many languages, and WE can speak many languages. We can talk in Biomed about hormonal pathways and neurons firing, and we can talk the words of Shaman penetrating through matter and into the world of spiritual vibrations. We can talk about IBS or “leaky gut syndome” or SP Qi Xu or hungry ghosts. We can say that an herb is a diaphoretic or that it releases the exterior – and that’s good, because it’s both! We can hold one perspective in each hand and work with each patient accordingly.

We’ll be able to get rid of a patients back pain so she can go back to teaching at school and treat the children with more kindness and compassion because she’s not constantly taxed by her pain – but maybe we’ll never talk to her about fear or spirit.

And maybe another patient will still have trouble sleeping through the night, but he’s living a brighter and happier and more grounded life than ever before, because for the first time in a long time, he’s had the opportunity to open up a bit and share and discover and process some of his emotional blockages.

We are the makers of our medicine, engaging in an ancient tradition, with our own new modern flare, dancing whichever dance our patients need – sometimes it’s the samba, and sometimes its the waltz – but it’s always a dance towards health and wholeness.

This medicine is also mysterious. We’ve been studying in for four years and only barely brushed the surface. And some patients, respond immediately and dramatically and boom! they’re better. And some patients don’t see any change at all, for weeks, and eventually stop trying – and we don’t always know why. But it’s not just this medicine that’s mysterious, it’s healing, and it’s life – sometimes, we just have to learn how to sit with the mystery.

This medicine came from people who watched nature and the earth – and we still have lots to learn from the natural world. For instance, our recent understandings of ecosystems teach us that diversity is the key to resilience. If we look at the world around us, we will notice (if we pay attention), that there are many many different plants and animals living together in any given environment. They all have different roles to play, different functions in keeping the balance of resources flowing and growing within a system.

I like to go hiking in the mountains, and every time I go I’m blown away about how many songbirds, singing different songs and different insects, pollinating different flowers And it’s important that we don’t forget how similar to the songbirds and the insects we are – and what I’m trying to get at, is that as we all step out into the world we should remember to feel free to be ourselves, different from others, filling a unique niche that will be bring it’s own balance to the ecosystem of humanity.

Some of us may be like honeybees, buzzing around with a communal mentality, “pollinating” many flowers of all shapes and sizes, producing a great sweetness in our community. Others may may, like a particular moth only work with a particular orchid as their one-and-only specialty, which will also bring great beauty to world as well. Without honeybees the world would not be complete, and without moths and orchids the world not be complete and without each and everyone of us the world is not complete. 

Friends, or should I now say Colleagues, how about Fellow Acupuncturists!

I think I speak for all of us when I express a great gratitude to be living on this great planet full of an abundance of life, to be living in an era with an incredible abundance of information, to have an abundance access to the resources to acquire a unique and very powerful set of tools that will allow us to transform individual lives and entire communities for the better.

And I really have to say thank you to our teacher, staff, and all those that paved the way for us.

We all dedicated our lives for the past few years to developing a strong foundation to be pivotal members of our communities. Our hard-work and devotion in school and the fact that were all here together today are proof of our ability to persevere and achieve what we have committed to.

Now lets get out there and heal the world!

Late-Summer Moon

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IMG_4376I’m at the footsteps of graduation. A couple more tests and a few more clinic shifts and I will receive my Masters of Traditional Oriental Medicine (MSTOM). Four years rigorous years of study later I prepare to step out into the world to practice medicine on my own. There’s a lot to reflect on and process; so much has happened over the past weeks and months. And it’s the perfect time to be engaged in this process of integration and contemplation.

You see, we just began the lunar month of the late summer. In Chinese Medicine the late summer is the season of the Earth element, which in the body corresponds with our digestive faculties. Our garden is exploding with tomatoes, cucumbers, and kale; we’ve harvested carrots and beets and beans too – so much to eat and digest and absorb. The process of digestion involves taking things from the outside world (food) and breaking it down and then integrating what we need from it into our body.

So too, we digest our experiences. We reflect on different things that happen in our lives and how we respond and interact with them and then we figure out what we need to integrate into ourselves. Of course there is a broad spectrum of thought between healthy contemplation and over-thinking and over-analyzing. In Chinese Medicine, we see over-thinking thing as pathological and as harmful to our health and digestive ability (that said, there’s a “chicken and egg” question: is said overthinking causing problems, or are we overthinking things because we’re already out-of-balance – ever noticed how sometimes after eating certain foods your head gets fuzzy and you have trouble thinking clearly?).

It also happens to be the tradition of my ancestors to integrate and contemplate life and how we’re living during this part of the earth’s cycle around the sun. In Jewish mythology we are in the last month of the year, a time to integrate the experiences of the year, a time when we can go out into the fields to be with the Earth and meditate on why we’re here and what we’re doing right and what we could be doing better. This late-summer month is only just beginning, and as we watch the moon wax and then wane we can take a moment to contemplate where we are in our lives, and where we’re going, and how well we’ve been digesting along the way.

How Acupuncture is Like Gardening

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I was out watering the garden this morning noticing how slowly things actually move in nature. We direct seeded a bunch of root crops and greens a few weeks ago and at first I felt a bit silly watering raised beds with only dirt in them. After a week, then 10 days, I started to wonder if the seeds we used were bad, or if something was wrong with the soil. Then I looked closer, and the tiniest little sprouts were starting to come up.

Now, I water these baby sproutlings with joy, and I know in my mind that in about a month we’ll start eating our own abundant homegrown greens. But in the present a month feels like a long time (though in retrospect I’ll wonder how a whole month managed to pass by). Or, I could go to the grocery store and get a bunch of chard right now.

As I was thinking about how slowly things move in nature, it popped into my head that acupuncture is a natural process that utilizes the body’s own healing ability to get back to a place of health. Yes, often people get immediate relief from pain, and some people even see other immediate results – they might sleep better, or feel less bloated after a meal, or have more energy – but often the relief isn’t permanent, until they’ve had enough acupuncture sessions to really lock the shifts towards health into place.

I think one of the challenges we have being patient to see results, is that often, by the time we’ve seek out intervention, we’ve already been patiently waiting for an issue to resolve itself on its own. We’ve used up our reserves of patience and perseverance and are ready for a quick fix. Ironically, the longer we wait, the deeper most issues have managed to get and the longer they take to fix naturally. It’s like weeding a garden, you want to pull the weeds out as soon as they sprout, the longer you wait, the harder they are to get out and keep out.

Next time your feeling impatient with yourself or with your body – whether it’s how long it’s taking you to lose some weight, or how difficult it’s been to get rid of sinusitis, or how long it’s taking to recover from an injury – go for a walk in a garden, or in the woods, or on a farm. Say hello the fallen tree trunk that is slowly being recycled back into the soil. Say hello to the big tree that’s decades older than you are. Say hello to the flower that took weeks, if not months, to germinate, and sprout, and grow, and bud, and blossom. You can even say hello to the rocks, that over the course of millions of years will be etched down to sand. And smile, and be grateful for the beautiful world around us, for all the reminders we’re given about how to live well, and for the resilience there is in our bodies and spirits.

The Pain of Broken Bones

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It’s rather funny, when I started the “Dark Matters” series I knew I intended to write about pain, but I had no idea how or where to begin. I now sit with a broken leg and it’s perfectly clear exactly where to start: with compassion and sympathy.

When I first went down in the snow on the sunny slopes in Steamboat, I knew pretty immediately that I had broken something and I wouldn’t be getting up for a while. I was also immediately grateful that help was nearby. Ski patrol would arrive soon enough and that I didn’t have to attempt to hobble or slide myself out (thanks Pete!) – and that eventually I would get some pain medication. While sliding down the hill on the stretcher, the excruciating pain somehow sharpened the smell of the the exhaust from the snowmobile and enhanced the beauty of the white, gray, and black aspen trees as they stood against the sheer blue sky. And crying, and screaming, and singing all somehow seemed to help.

The medications helped later on to assuage the pain and the warm family love and care helped me feel better, but nothing made the pain go away completely. Going to sleep at night was scary because I knew I would wake up in terrible pain halfway through the night. When the intense pain finally mostly subsided, discomfort lurked constantly, and relief came mostly in the form of a haze, shrouding more than just my pain, and it never lasted.

But I know that through the pain I join the human family, and fortunately, the pain hardly makes me immune to the pleasure in life, from the simple – like a perfect cup of coffee – to the deep grand pleasures of love and friendship.

I also have a newfound respect for people in chronic pain, and I new understanding of my role as an acupuncturist and herbalist and of the greatness of the gift of relief. Somehow, I end up feeling grateful for my experiences – whether they bring me joy or sadness – because they all bring me closer to my humanity – and to the glory of life.

With time healing occurs;  wholeness returns. My bones knit themselves back together, my ligaments restitch themselves, and my heart mends its cracks. When it’s all done, I’ll have integrated my previously broken self into a new whole self, changed and stronger for it all and with the scars to prove it.

Beginning of a New Semester

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Things feel different this semester. I’ve discussed it with a couple friends and they agree. We seem to have passed a threshold, out of the foundation building level, and into the level of application and use. This semester we’re finally getting into the details of diagnosis and treatment of diseases (we’ll be focusing on respiratory and digestive disorders), advanced needling techniques, and herbal formulas (as opposed to focusing on the individual herbs). I’m also taking an elective class on the “Huang Di Nei Jing” or the “Yellow Emperor’s Classic” which essentially the “bible” of Chinese Medicine (I’m hoping for some interesting posts to come out of that class).

This is also my last semester in New York. I’m taking the summer off and will be moving to Boulder with my now fiance then wife! I’m looking forward to being in an environment and culture that is more outdoor and nature oriented. I’m curious to see how that affects the types of pathologies that come into the clinic and I’m eager to see how a different school approaches teaching and learning Chinese Medicine. That said, moving can be a very stressful life event. It involves saying goodbye to people, a place, and things, and it requires a certain amount of courage and willingness to face the unknown. The hope is that it will be an experience that fosters growth and also allows us to more easily live a lifestyle that is in line with our values.

Speaking of value, this past week I’ve caught myself in the mindset of “making the most” of everything: of my last semester, of my last months in New York City, of the time I have with my friends. I think it’s an attitude quite prevalent in our society, especially in areas like New York, and while in many ways it can serve positive purposes, it can also be a hindrance. It’s easy to get so caught up in trying to “make the most” or “find or be the best” that it’s hard to make any decisions or to enjoy what is. And when making the most of my semester at school means taking some of the more demanding classes, but making the most of my last months in New York means taking less classes so I have more time to explore and frolic, I found myself in a bit of a pickle. So, here’s too just what is, and to remembering that “making the most” is not necessarily as much about content as it is about how we approach life.

Finally, I’d like to write a blog-post on “How to find the right Acupuncturist for you” (this comes after being asked a number of times by people for recommendations and/or advice on the topic), and I think that a fair share of people out there reading might have some good advice/stories on the topic…. so if you do… please either comment here or e-mail me.

Happy New Year!

Wishbones

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Growing up, whenever my mom made chicken, my brothers and I would always get excited about the wishbone, that strange and symbolic bone from the chicken, that somehow magically releases power to the person holding on to the bigger piece when broken. I have no idea how we decided which 2 of the 3 of us would get to break it, nor do I really remember specific wishes I made or whether or not they came true. I just remember the ritual and the excitement that surrounded it.

Little did I know, a couple of decades later, I would break my shoulder-blade in rather silly bicycle accident on my way home from school and release a tremendous amount of much-needed transformative magic. Three weeks ago, I started a journey of learning, growth, and of course healing. I was forced into dependency, from helper to being helped. I was reminded of the endless generosity of those around me – from the angelic stranger who saw the accident and helped me get to my feet and to the right hospital, to my life partner and soul-mate who graciously nursed me back to health. And I was finally able to re-evaluate my perspectives on and relationships with my performance at school, which had been creating a great deal of anxiety for me.

First a note on perspectives. Breaking my scapula in a bike accident on my way home was a neutral event. Painful, yes. Disruptive to the previous flow of my life, yes. Challenging and traumatic, yes. Bad, no. Could it have been worse, of course, but is that way I should make myself feel better? When people, in their attempt to share sympathy, used phrases like “Bad Luck,” or “that’s too bad” I was reminded of the story of an old man in a village, whose horse runs away. All the villagers come to comfort him, “We’re sorry your horse ran away! It’s such bad luck.” “We’ll see,”  the old man would reply. A few days later his son comes back with the lost horse. All the villagers come over, “What great luck! You got your horse back! We’re so happy for you!” “We’ll see,” said the old man again. The next day, the horse falls on his son and breaks his son’s leg. Once again the villagers run over, “We’re so sorry, such terrible news!” “Maybe,” replies the father. A week later the military comes to draft all young and able bodied men, his son cannot be drafted because he has a broken leg. Such good luck! Who knows. I don’t advocate being dispassionate about life, but I do believe strongly that our attitudes about the things that manifest in our lives are tremendously powerful.

I guess one of the lessons here for me as a future healer is to remember this when treating people. Never to feel sorry for anyone or judge their experience as good or bad. I didn’t want people’s pity, I wanted their assistance and compassion. Maybe there’s a fine line, maybe it’s a difficult space to navigate, but nonetheless I think it may be very important. I also need to remember how hard it was for me to ask for help, even from my teachers and friends, who I’m sure wanted to help me, both so that in the future when I need help I don’t let the challenge of asking for it stop me, and so that I can hold the awareness of the difficulty of asking for help that some of my future patients may have.

Of course there are also a number of lessons here on how Chinese Medicine fits into treating trauma as well. First, let’s remember that I went to a hospital, got x-rays, saw a doctor, and got analgesic medication, and that these are all really important things to do in any case of trauma. However, post-initial Western/Biomedical trauma treatment, there are a number of internal and external herbal treatments that can help increase circulation and reduce inflammation and help the body heal faster and with less difficulty. Acupuncture can also help calm the mind and spirit, and direct the bodies healing potential in ways that can help make the whole experience more manageable (Remember that a lot of this medicine evolved amongst the martial artists who suffered plenty of traumatic injuries in their practicing). So if you, or anyone you know is involved in a traumatic event please consider exploring Chinese Medicinal options. It can also be helpful for caretakers to manage their stress and anxiety related to the experience. I’m currently taking an herbal supplement called bone-knitting powder as well as trying to get a lot of calcium and vitamin D in my diet.

Another interesting thing about this whole episode was it’s timing: the week before finals and two weeks before comprehensive exams and my winter break. I like to do well in school. I have done well my whole life, and I’ve grown to see my performance at school as a reflection of me and my value. Intellectually, I’ve been aware that my grades aren’t really important and reflect only a tiny fraction of my expression of self into the world. The value that they have and thus their power over me (to make me feel anxious and stressed), is value and power that I give to them. This intellectual awareness of this was not enough to translate into an emotional embodiment of it – meaning, even thought I knew that, I would still feel anxious about exams and grades etc. Breaking a bone shook me up enough to allow me to realize emotionally what I already knew intellectually about grades and performance at school – and that is when and how I regained my power to choose what I give value to and how much value each things get.

Apparently, the wishbone is called by many the Thanksgiving bone because the ritual of breaking it is often reserved for that holiday. I have to say that while it may sound strange, my overall sentiment surrounding this experience is one of gratitude. Because this extreme shift in the trajectory of my life has lead to a tremendous amount of the growth and learning, and because it’s a lesson I get to carry with me in my body – my own thanksgiving wishbone. Perhaps it makes sense that all of this happened the day I got back from my Thanksgiving break.

Much thanks to all those who helped and assisted me in my recovery, who had me in their thoughts, who made things easier for me.

Happy Wholesome Holidays full of Light, Love, and Joy to all.

Life, School, Stress, and Feeling Good

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Fall Colors of the Alleghany Mountains of Virginia

Fall Colors of the Alleghany Mountains of Virginia

As the Fall begins to sink its fingers into the Northeast with cooler weather, shorter days, and some crazy wind we’re moving into more complicated material and through an intense midterm period. I managed to get out the city a couple of weekends ago, which was incredibly important for my health (though by now some of the therapeutic effects unfortunately seem to be waning). My girlfriend and I drove down to the Allegheny Mountains of Virginia. We were lucky to have perfect timing and were there for peak colors (the trees turn earlier in the mountains, despite the latitude) and even saw a Bald Eagle!

Now, I find myself working harder than I’ve had to in a while, as my two part-time jobs are demanding much more from me. I have two part-time jobs because I want to make it through school with minimal debt and because I want to continue to cultivate myself beyond the boundaries of Chinese Medicine. I’m working as an environmental educator for an organization called The Wild Lab. It’s an awesome organization and our program is super-cool. Essentially, we’re using an iPhone application to teach students about birds and about citizen science. My other part-time job, which is currently only a couple of weekends a month, involves care for adults with mental disabilities. I’m currently skipping my daytime classes to attend a course that will certify me to administer medications (I’ve still managed to make it to my evening classes, both of which involved quizes this week), the course is a New York State specific thing.

All that said, I did want to hop online, write a little update, remind myself and the world about the realities of being a student, and share briefly an experience that has me thinking more about health and what it does and/or doesn’t mean, and how we regulate our health.

Last night, I was feeling very stressed out, a bit overwhelmed by the number of things on my plate (tasty as those things may be). I was tired, and having trouble finding the energy,desire, or focus, to do anything, but zone out (something I clearly needed to do). To create more context I had gotten very little sleep the previous night, and eaten crappy food that day. Today, I’ve been feeling much better, and in fact came home excited to work on flashcards and memorizing all of these medications and what they’re prescribed for, because learning is awesome (of course I had to write first). Last night I got to bed at a decent time, and today, I think I ate stuff that my system was more happy with.

Nothing external really changed all that much. I still have 3 midterms on Monday, and my first day teaching in the classroom on Tuesday, and I’m still working part of this weekend. But I’m feeling better, and therefore more able to cope with the challenges I face. Now, we all have ups and downs, that’s natural. We have to balance the energized Yang periods of our days and weeks with restorative restful Yin periods of time. But I’m wondering about how we feel within those moments, and who or what’s in control of when and where they occur. I don’t have answers, and I think the answers are different for everyone, but the only way to find the answers is to be aware and observe ourselves and pay attention to what’s affecting us and how.

For the record, personally, I’m examining specifically which foods do what to my body and state of mind, and have been learning a lot about nutrition from a Chinese medical point of view, and hope, at some point, to have a series of food and nutrition related posts (hehe, though I’m sure we’re all sick of different people telling us what and how to eat – which is a whole other topic I plan on exploring).

So, let’s all try to pay attention to what makes us feel good, and what makes us feel not so good… and let’s try to do more things that make us feel Good 🙂

And now… off to the books.

Questions? Comments? Thoughts?